The hedonistic shirt of the world

I bought a tank top from a hedonistic fashion site a month ago and it has not arrived yet. I thought I was buying from within the US, but after a lot of emails back and forth to try and get an arrival estimate, I finally get a tracking number and it turns out it was coming from Spain. So I’m thinking: OK, that’s a decent explanation why it’s taking so long.

I have shipping anxiety. Every time I order something online, I can’t help but check the tracking every 5 min for an update. I still check my mailbox every day as well just in case!

So I’ve been checking my order like crazy, really dying for this shirt, not actually remembering what it looks like anymore because it has also been removed from the site. I check yesterday and it went from New Jersey to California. I don’t live in California. What’s happening D:

Today, tracking says it will arrive!10 minutes later tracking says it’s out for delivery in California. WAT. Where are you going, shirt? Please, send me a post card, you well-traveled bastard!

This is some long shipping, son.

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